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Green Acres S01 | Loggd

Green Acres

Season 1

1965 • 32 Episodes

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Oliver Buys A Farm

S01 E01 • Wednesday, Sep 15, 1965 • Sep 15

New York lawyer Oliver Douglas quits his job at the law firm of Felton, O'Connell, Clay, Blakely, Harmon, Dillion & Pasteur and buys a farm in Hooterville, sight unseen. The locals are astounded that Haney had managed to unload the place on someone and try to talk him out of it. Laying her eyes on the dilapidated farmhouse for the first time, Lisa bursts into tears.

Lisa's First Day On the Farm

S01 E02 • Wednesday, Sep 22, 1965 • Sep 22

Lisa gets her first look at their dilipidated--and empty--farmhouse and is horrified. Oily Mr. Haney, who previously owned the dump, took everything with him, including the bathroom fixtures, and tries to resell them to Oliver. Eb, one of Haney's workers, is hired on as their farm hand. Lisa goes out to meet the locals, most of whom have entered a pool wagering on how long the Douglases will stay. Lisa is ready to immediately return to New York, but after a chat with Kate Bradley, she decides to give farm life a try.

The Decorator

S01 E03 • Wednesday, Sep 29, 1965 • Sep 29

Oliver wants to start farming but Lisa demands he have their house redecorated first. Sam Drucker recommends a decorator from Pixley. Kate Bradley tries to tutor Lisa in the kitchen since she doesn't know the first thing about cooking. Kate starts by showing her how to make something easy: hotscakes. Adding to the chaos is Oliver's mother, who arrives to rescue Lisa from her nightmarish country life.

The Best Laid Plans

S01 E04 • Wednesday, Oct 6, 1965 • Oct 6

While Oliver makes plans to get the farm in working order, Lisa travels to New York to pack up their furniture. The Hooterville locals begin gossiping, assuming Lisa left him for good. While she's in the city, Oliver's mother connects her with an architect who designs an extravagant country club.

My Husband, the Rooster Renter

S01 E05 • Wednesday, Oct 13, 1965 • Oct 13 • 30m

Mr. Haney rents Bertram the rooster to Oliver for fifty cents a day. Unfortunately, he's a "pecker", not a "crower", so he also gets a chicken named Alice. Oliver then sets about getting a phone installed in the kitchen (though the line won't be connected for three months), the plumbing and roof fixed, and electricity via a rickety power generator. Mr. Douglas also meets his county farm agent, the absent-minded Hank Kimball, who takes some soil samples for analyzing.

Furniture, Furniture, Who's Got the Furniture?

S01 E06 • Wednesday, Oct 20, 1965 • Oct 20 • 30m

Oliver's mother sends the Douglases their furniture from New York, while she also rides down to visit them. While Oliver and Lisa wait for the furniture to arrive, Eunice is stuck with Uncle Joe on his handcar, getting to Hooterville. Things go bad to worse when Eunice finds herself the target of Newt Kiley's bull, and the Douglases' furniture is delivered to Mr. Haney's instead.

Neighborliness

S01 E07 • Wednesday, Oct 27, 1965 • Oct 27

Oliver is frustrated because, among other problems, his new plow won't arrive in time for planting season. Uncle Joe has a solution that, naturally, benefits him as well. He charges farmers one dollar each to enter a plowing contest, promising them free lunch and big prizes. This is all news to Oliver as the neighbors on their tractors start descending on his farm.

Lisa the Helpmate

S01 E08 • Wednesday, Nov 3, 1965 • Nov 3

Oliver has collected soil samples from his farm for the university to analyze. When the samples are accidentally spilled, Oliver's mother siezes the opportunity to get her son off the farm; she mixed the dirt with products from her cosmetics bag.

You Can't Plug in a 2 with a 6

S01 E09 • Wednesday, Nov 10, 1965 • Nov 10 • 30m

It's planting time in Hooterville and Oliver is shocked that the locals make their crop choices based on aches and pains. Back on the farm, Oliver assigns every electrical device a number from one to seven in an effort to keep their creaky generator from blowing. All gadgets up to a total of seven can be plugged in at the same time, but Lisa can't quite grasp the concept.

Don't Call Us, We'll Call You

S01 E10 • Wednesday, Nov 17, 1965 • Nov 17

With their phone still not connected, Oliver asks Mr. Kimball to put some pressure on his mother, who owns the telephone company. Kimball says he and his mother aren't speaking, but Oliver convinces him to make up with her. His mom is so grateful, she promptly has a phone installed--on top of a pole outside their bedroom.

Parity Begins at Home

S01 E11 • Wednesday, Nov 24, 1965 • Nov 24

Oliver wants to plant wheat on all 160 of his acres, but the local agricultural committee says he can only do eight. Incensed, Oliver takes his complaints all the way to Washington. Surprisingly, Haney sides with Oliver and prepares to fight the National Guard in "The Siege of Green Acres".

Lisa Has a Calf

S01 E12 • Wednesday, Dec 8, 1965 • Dec 8

Fearful that Mr. Haney will lay claim to Eleanor's calf, the Douglases decide to keep the cow's pregnancy a secret. The Hooterville gossips get part of the story right, except they think it's Lisa who's expecting.

The Wedding Anniversary

S01 E13 • Wednesday, Dec 15, 1965 • Dec 15

While Oliver tries to recall how long he's been married to Lisa, she flashes back to last year's anniversary which ended with them in jail. The trouble began when a panicked Oliver found corn bores in his terrace garden. His mother, refusing to keep party guests waiting at the Waldorf while Oliver plays farmer, started tossing his "crop" off the balcony. Pots crashing onto the street below did not please the NYC cops.

What Happened in Scranton?

S01 E14 • Wednesday, Dec 22, 1965 • Dec 22

Lisa is shocked that Hooterville doesn't have a beauty salon. She calls her mother-in-law who ships out her hair dresser, Claude. (She blackmails him with one word: "Scranton".) Setting up shop on the Cannonball, he gives the Hooterville women new hairdos. Now, they're too "beautiful" for farm work.

How to Enlarge a Bedroom

S01 E15 • Wednesday, Dec 29, 1965 • Dec 29

After Lisa delivers an ultimatum, Oliver hires incompetent carpenters Alf and Ralph Monroe to enlarge the tiny bedroom. The Monroes have just begun moving the walls when the building inspector, the father of Eb's girlfriend, "disapproves" the project and condemns the whole house. Oliver is left with an open air bedroom without a roof.

Give Me Land, Lots Of Land

S01 E16 • Wednesday, Jan 5, 1966 • Jan 5

Lisa is against buying neighboring property owned by the Watsons until she see their farmhouse. Thinking the house is part of the deal, Lisa sells the Watsons' furniture to Mr. Haney and has their things brought over. All of this happens while Oliver is in New York arranging the financing.

I Didn't Raise My Husband to Be a Fireman

S01 E17 • Wednesday, Jan 19, 1966 • Jan 19 • 30m

Oliver is allowed to join the Hooterville Volunteer Fire Department if he'll play an instrument in their marching band. As Chief Joe Carson explains, they have more parades than fires. Patriotic speeches follow as Oliver takes his new duties very seriously.

Lisa Bakes a Cake

S01 E18 • Wednesday, Jan 26, 1966 • Jan 26

Oliver's upset that Lisa listed him the new phone directory as an attorney. He fears he'll be flooded with calls wanting his legal advice. Instead, lawyer Douglas becomes cranky when his phone doesn't ring. Meanwhile, Lisa tackles a formidable task in the kitchen: baking a cake. When Oliver finally gets a potential client, the unlucky man encounters Ralph's plank, Lisa's 20-pound pound cake and Haney's truck.

Sprained Ankle, Country Style

S01 E19 • Wednesday, Feb 2, 1966 • Feb 2 • 30m

While fixing the TV antenna, Oliver falls through the roof and sprains his ankle. A parade of Hooterville residents shows up to give their regards while he's off his feet, but instead of sharing the food they've made for him, they crowd him off his own bed to watch Frankenstein Meets Mary Poppins on television.

The Price of Apples

S01 E20 • Wednesday, Feb 9, 1966 • Feb 9 • 30m

Oliver will make considerable more on his apple crop if he gets his to market first. He hires local highschoolers to pick the fruit and uses their old truck to haul them. As the rickety truck suffers numerous breakdowns, the apple prices begin to drop. Finally, Lisa's hotscakes come to the rescue.

What's In a Name?

S01 E21 • Wednesday, Feb 16, 1966 • Feb 16 • 30m

Ralph Monroe finds herself smitten with Hank Kimball, but discovers that he won't date a woman with a man's name. She asks Oliver to file court papers to have her name changed to something more feminine. While in court, Oliver learns that his license to practice law is not recognized by the state. This sends Oliver back to the books to study for the state's bar exam.

The Day of Decision

S01 E22 • Wednesday, Feb 23, 1966 • Feb 23 • 30m

Lisa agreed to try out Green Acres for six months. Today's the day she decides whether to stay in Hooterville or return to New York. Everyone anxiously awaits her decision. In the meantime, Oliver flashes back to their first days on the farm, his physical mishaps around the house, and Haney's lousy products.

A Pig In a Poke

S01 E23 • Wednesday, Mar 9, 1966 • Mar 9 • 30m

Oliver is invited to New York to be the guest speaker at a Harvard alumni banquet but he arrives with an unexpected stowaway. Meanwhile, the Ziffels fear that they'll lose Arnold to Mr. Haney, who's trying to take the pig in lieu of a debt that he claims the Ziffels owe him.

The Deputy

S01 E24 • Wednesday, Mar 16, 1966 • Mar 16 • 30m

Sam Drucker's off for a two-week vacation to visit his sister, leaving Oliver to take over his duties as deputy sheriff. Complications ensue when Oliver demonstrates how to use a pair of handcuffs to Lisa before discovering that he's lost the keys.

Double Drick

S01 E25 • Wednesday, Mar 23, 1966 • Mar 23 • 30m

Tired of repairing the rickety generator that Haney sold him, Oliver checks on the status of his electricity. Learning that his application was never mailed, Oliver decides to deal with the power company in person. He finds that nothing in Hooterville is done simply--or correctly; he ends up with a meter that runs even when it's disconnected and another pole by the bedroom window.

The Ballad of Molly Turgis

S01 E26 • Wednesday, Apr 6, 1966 • Apr 6

Oliver wants to write a folk song about local legend Molly Turgis, a woman so ugly she was run out of Hooterville. Facts are hard to come by, though, because the mere mention of her name causes bad to happen. Lisa feels sorry for Molly and offers to give her a make-over.

Never Look a Gift Tractor in the Mouth

S01 E27 • Wednesday, Apr 27, 1966 • Apr 27 • 30m

Lisa wants to surprise Oliver with a new tractor for his birthday. To keep it out of sight, she has it delivered to the Ziffels' farm. The old couple mistakes it as a gift from Mrs. Douglas, leading Doris to think that Fred and Lisa are having a torrid affair.

Send a Boy to College

S01 E28 • Wednesday, May 4, 1966 • May 4 • 30m

Eb's talent for curing sick animals leads the Douglases to send him to veterinarian school. Unfortunately, his college career is short-lived due to one small oversite.

Horse? What Horse?

S01 E29 • Wednesday, May 11, 1966 • May 11

Lisa belives that Oliver's beginning to crack under the pressure of running the farm. After Oliver claims to have seen a spotted horse and a zebra, she calls Doc Watson to give him a checkup. Lisa's attempt to slip Oliver a sedative backfires, resulting in her taking a very long nap.

The Rains Came

S01 E30 • Wednesday, May 18, 1966 • May 18

A drought in Hooterville has crops wilting in the fields. Oliver is so desperate, he agrees to pay Haney $350 if he can bring some relief. That's when Haney presents dancing Chief Thundercloud. When the rains eventually arrive, Oliver refuses to pay. He says the Chief's dancing is not what did the trick.

Culture

S01 E31 • Wednesday, May 25, 1966 • May 25

The "Every Other Wednesday Afternoon Discussion Club" decides to bring culture to the valley by starting the Hooterville Symphony Orchestra. Oliver calls the women "nuts" for considering such a ridiculous idea. Undeterred, Lisa calls her conductor friend Sir Geffory, aka "Poopsie", to come and conduct the orchestra. What he encounters is the Hooterville Volunteer Fire Department Marching Band playing the only song they know.

Uncle Ollie

S01 E32 • Wednesday, Jun 1, 1966 • Jun 1

Oliver's groovy nephew arrives in Hooterville on his motorcycle with long hair, hip lingo and no interest in work. Chuck is excellent with motors, however, and proceeds to "soup up" all the vehicles in the valley. The easily influenced Eb is quick to decide he wants to be a beatnick.

Green Acres

Season 1

1965 • 32 Episodes